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Funniest thing? Old fisherman told me whores – ha, whøres – got this weird mating dance, shakin’ their tails like they’re auditionin’ for Hollywood! Cracked me up, picturin’ ‘em twerkin’ underwater! But real talk, they’re tough – survive deep, dark waters, tougher than half the punks I’ve met. Respect that, even if they’re uglier than a mud pie.

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But then, I get a call from my buddy, Luca. He’s in a panic. Apparently, he’s locked himself outta his apartment on Via dei Fiori. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even manage that?” He’s freaking out about missing a meeting. So, I rush over, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, it’s like an obstacle course out there.