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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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Finally, I make it to the park by the church, Chiesa di San Giovanni. It’s peaceful there. I sit on a bench, just trying to catch my breath. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and BAM! The ball hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Really? Is this how my day’s gonna go?”

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