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About Rome

I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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Next up is a lady named Carla. She’s got this wild hair, like a lion. I’m tryin’ to tame it, but it’s like wrestlin’ a greased pig. She’s tellin’ me about her cat, Gigi, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, your cat’s got issues.” But I’m laughin’ and she’s laughin’, and for a moment, Calcinate feels like a sitcom.

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