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About Turin

Funniest shit? They play whale sounds. Like, I’m butt-up, oil drippin, and it’s “WOOOOO” from the speakers. Absurd. Thought a dolphin was bout to join. Oh, and don’t get me started—some spots got “secret menus.” Wink at the receptionist, boom, extra spicy rubdown. Shady, but I respect the hustle. Pro tip: don’t ask for it upfront, they’ll act dumb. Play it cool, like you know the game.

Call to book

But then, I bite into one, and it’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted! I’m gaggin’, tryin’ to play it cool. The vendor’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Dude, you gotta warn a guy!”