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Oi mate, it’s David Brent ‘ere, your top-tier manager slash philosopher slash massage enthusiast! Right, let’s chat erotic-massage, yeah? Proper game-changer in the relaxation department, innit? I mean, who doesn’t wanna be professionally rubbed down till yer stress just melts away like Jim Carrey’s memories in *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*? “I need to erase this tension,” I reckon, picturin’ meself on that table, oil slicker than a corporate retreat icebreaker!

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But then, BAM! The blaster jams. I’m standing there, covered in dust, and I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I try to fix it, but it’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. I’m sweating bullets, and the clock is ticking.

Bodies of Missing Climbers Andrea Galimberti and Sara Stefanelli Found on Mont Blanc