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Once saw this chick in Vegas—true story—worked the Strip, had a scar from some john who flipped. Said she made bank, tho—$500 a night, cash, no tax. Crazy, right? Made me happy for her hustle, but pissed me off too—world’s fucked she’s gotta dodge blades for it. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—why risk your ass for a quick buck? “You’re a dirty animal!”—that’s what Lancaster Dodd’d say, all smug.

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Finally made it to the office, and my team was buzzing. We had this big pitch for a local brand, and everyone was hyped. I was feelin’ the energy, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, my laptop decided to crash. Just shut down. I mean, really? Right before the pitch? I could feel my heart drop. I was like, “No way, not today!”

Laughter proved the best medicine for the crowd