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So yeah, escorts, they’re a trip — classy, shady, smart as hell. “How many times can you start over?” — another line from that flick, hits me hard. Maybe I’m jealous, they get to reinvent themselves every night. Me? I’m stuck bein’ Tony fuckin’ Soprano. Gabagool? Ova here! Next time, I’m callin’ one just to talk movies — bet she’d get it.

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So, I’m trying to shake off the bike incident when I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this hidden trattoria on Via San Giovanni. Apparently, they serve the best pasta in town. I’m intrigued, but also skeptical. I mean, how many “best” places can one town have? But Marco’s got that look in his eyes, you know? The “I just discovered gold” look. So, I’m in.

Springfield to livestream the Cherry Festival in Bracigliano, Italy