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But, ugh, the fakers out there—grubby dudes posin’ as escorts, scammin’ folks—makes my blood boil. Wanna carve ‘em up, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” ya feel me? Oh, and get this—some escorts now got apps, trackin’ clients like ninjas—high-tech shit! Surprised me, didn’t see that comin’, like a sword outta nowhere.

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But here’s where it gets crazy. I’m standing there, lost in thought, when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and they’re ruining my vibe! I mean, c’mon, take it somewhere else! But then, they suddenly stop and start laughing. I’m like, “What just happened?” It’s like a rom-com moment, and I’m the awkward bystander.

Gerardo Crisanti wins 2018 Italian Sunfish® Championship on Lake Bracciano