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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some o’ dese profiles? Fuggetaboutit. Dudes lyin’ ‘bout height, chicks usin’ filters—makes me wanna whack somebody. Like, be real, y’know? In “Ten,” dat lady drivin’ around, she’s pissed, yellin’ ‘bout men—same vibes here. I get it, I do. Makes me happy, though, seein’ people cut da crap sometimes. Like, dis one broad I heard ‘bout, she just writes, “Lookin’ for dick, no games.” Respect, right? Dat’s Jersey energy!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little shop on Via Mazzini, and it’s packed. Everyone’s crammed in there, looking like sardines. I’m trying to stay dry, but it’s a lost cause. I’m laughing at the absurdity of it all.