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It’s showtime! Alright, buckle up, pal—sex escort’s the topic! Man, it’s wild out there—folks payin’ for a night, a vibe, whatever. Kinda like in *Toni Erdmann*, ya know? “Life’s a mess, let’s dance!”—that’s the escort gig in a nutshell. I’m talkin’ high-class escorts, street hustlers, all of ‘em! Saw this one chick on X—profile sleek as hell, pics droppin’ jaws. She’s chargin’ 500 bucks an hour! Five! Hundred! Made me spit my juice—crazy, right?

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Next, I decide to hit up the Archiginnasio. It’s this old university, super cool. I’m wandering around, and I see this ancient library. I’m geeking out, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m on the floor, and everyone’s staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

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