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Now, me, I’m picturin’ it all cinematic-like, Del Toro style. Fog rollin’ in, her standin’ there, sassy as hell, givin’ me that “What’s your offer, painter?” look. I’d be nervous, sweatin’ like a pig, thinkin’, *Bob, don’t screw this up, keep it chill.* Maybe crack a joke—“Wanna split a canvas, darlin’?”—but nah, she’d prolly roll her eyes. Realism check, Bob!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Via De Gasperi. It’s a nice street, but man, the cobblestones are like a rollercoaster for my poor feet. I’m hopin’ I don’t trip and faceplant. I mean, I’ve got a reputation to uphold! But then, I see this cute little shop selling handmade ceramics. I’m a sucker for art, so I pop in. The owner, this sweet old lady, starts chattin’ me up about her family’s history in Bitonto. I’m all ears, lovin’ the stories.

The National Gallery of Apulia in Bitonto, a museum created through the generosity of two collector brothers