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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout these whores—er, wait, “whore”? Shit, you mean *smokejumpers*, don’t ya? Parachutist firefighters, droppin’ from the sky like bloody madmen! I’m one of ‘em, y’know, jumpin’ into wildfires, axe in hand, balls of steel. Whore’s what I thought you said—hah! Imagine me, pint-sized, leapin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, instead of brothels.

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After that little fiasco, I head over to the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is wild. I’m just standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some kid just knocked over a statue! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?” The kid’s mom is mortified. I can’t help but chuckle.

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