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About Rome

Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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After the baths, I stroll down Via della Repubblica. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and cafes. I stop for a gelato. Best decision ever! I go for pistachio, my fave. But then, I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the biggest smile, and I can’t help but smile back. It’s like she’s got this magic about her.

Fig. 2 Sandstone Karst in Pine County. The red triangles are mapped...