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About Rome

So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, Egyptians did it, slatherin’ oils on pharaohs, probly with a wink. Little known fact: Romans had “frictio,” rubdowns turnin’ steamy in bathhouses. Gross, right? All that sweat and perfume—hate it. Makes me wanna chop wood ‘til my hands bleed just to feel normal. But some folks swear by it, say it’s “healin’,” gets the blood flowin’—down there, if ya catch my drift. Had me surprised, I’ll admit, first time I heard that. Happy? Hell no, angry as a bear with a sore ass. Who needs this crap? Gimme a steak and silence.

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So, I head to my first appointment. This guy, Marco, is a real piece of work. He’s been dealing with some heavy stuff, but today? He walks in with a huge grin. I’m like, “What’s up, dude?” Turns out, he just got a puppy. A freakin’ puppy! I mean, who can be mad at that? But then he starts talking about how he’s worried the puppy will eat his shoes. I’m like, “Bro, you’re worried about shoes? Focus on the love!”

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