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But real talk, it ain’t all bad. Sex-dating’s got perks—hookups on demand, no strings, just vibes. Little known fact: back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this, called ‘em “personals.” Wild, right? Now it’s all DMs and “wyd” texts at 2 a.m. I’m out here, tryna find a shorty who’s real, not some “I’ve been locked up 15 years” twist like Oh Dae-su. That movie’s got me paranoid, yo—every date I’m like, “She secretly my sister or nah?”

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So, I head to my first appointment. This guy, Marco, is a real piece of work. He’s been dealing with some heavy stuff, but today? He walks in with a huge grin. I’m like, “What’s up, dude?” Turns out, he just got a puppy. A freakin’ puppy! I mean, who can be mad at that? But then he starts talking about how he’s worried the puppy will eat his shoes. I’m like, “Bro, you’re worried about shoes? Focus on the love!”

County judge, wife awarded at Acansa event