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Oh, and—random thought—what if I parachuted INTO a massage spot? Hah! “Hi-ho, Kermit’s landed, rub me down!” Total chaos, oil flyin’, me flailin’—dramatic, right? Anyway, it’s personal, it’s wild, it’s—ooh—temptin’. Next time I’m achin’ from a jump, maybe I’ll try it. “Rudeness is merely the expression of fear,” Gustave says—well, I ain’t scared, I’m divin’ in! Hi-ho, that’s my take!

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this lady starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. “No, I won’t pay 2 euros! I’ll give you 1.50!” I’m just standing there, thinking, “Lady, it’s a tomato, not a diamond!” But hey, I respect the hustle.

Julio Cesar hosts the latest Inter Calling Club!