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But yo, don’t sleep on the weird shit—some places got “happy ending” rumors, and I’m like, “Bruh, keep it classy!” Pisses me off when folks ruin it with sleaze. This ain’t that—it’s art, it’s soul, it’s fuckin’ magic! “I’m not talking about dance lessons!”—Royal’d get it, trust me. So yeah, erotic-massage? Get on it. Life’s too short for boring rubs. Unleash that inner beast—BOOM!

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Finally, I grab some tomatoes and a bottle of that famous Castelli Romani wine. I mean, if I’m gonna have a day like this, I need some vino, right? I’m feeling a bit better, but then I see my buddy Marco. He’s at the café on Via Mazzini, and he’s like, “Hey! You look like a drowned rat!” Thanks, Marco. Real supportive.

Nazi war criminal Erich Priebke's hearse kicked by protesters in Italy