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About Naples

So I spot this one chick, legs for days, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I roll up, all cool, but inside I’m sweatin’—what if she’s a cop? What if she robs me? Paranoid as hell, motherfucker! I say, “Hey, what’s good?” She’s all, “Fifty for a quickie.” Fifty?! Man, I got pissed—last week it was forty! Told her, “You’re fuckin’ dreamin’!” She just shrugged, like Mia’s “I don’t care” attitude. That shit made me happy tho—girl’s got guts.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling good, when I get a call on the radio. It’s my buddy, Luca. He’s on the other side of town, near the beach, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a whole flock of seagulls attacking tourists on Lungomare Marconi. Like, seriously? Seagulls? I can’t even.

Four dead in plane crash in southwest England