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About Bologna

Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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I rush over there, and it’s chaos! People are screaming, flapping their arms, trying to fend off these feathered fiends. I’m cracking up, but also kinda worried. I mean, who knew seagulls could be so aggressive? I grab my radio, and I’m like, “Luca, get the nets! We need to save these tourists!”

Collision on the Adriatic Coast