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So, here’s the deal, right? Sex-dating’s this freaky science experiment gone rogue. You got apps—bam!—Tinder, Bumble, freakin’ Grindr, whatever. Scrollin’ like a maniac, pics flashin’, bios lyin’—“I luv adventure!” Yeah, sure, couch potato. HAHA! Makes me wanna scream sometimes, all these clowns pretendin’. Like, c’mon, dude, just say you want a hookup, quit the poetry!

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I woke up, sun shining through my window on Via G. Garibaldi. Thought it was gonna be chill. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I step outside, and boom! The smell of fresh pastries from the bakery on the corner hits me. I’m talkin’ about those cannoli that make you forget your name. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

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