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But real talk—she’s a survivor, man. Reminds me of Llewelyn in the movie, dodgin’ crap left and right. Once saw her dodge a cop like she was freakin’ Neo in *The Matrix*—boom, gone! Had me shook. I was like, “Damn, girl, you’re slick!” Kinda hot, too—how you doin’, amirite? But nah, she’d chew me up and spit me out. “You don’t wanna mess with this, sugar,” she’d say, all sassy. And I’d be like, “Yeah, fair.”

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First off, I’m headin’ down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little bar on the corner, you know, the one with the best pastries? But of course, there’s a line. Like, a line that wraps around the block. I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I get my cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right?

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