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About Milan

Humor? Psh, half these profiles lie worse than my last resume. “Fit, fun, 30”—more like flabby, grumpy, 50! Sarcasm’s my shield, tho—keeps it fun. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like my job—odds of a good night? 60/40, tops. Still, I’m here for it, livin’ loud, “Slay!”—cuz like Eli says, “We could be like this forever.” Or at least til the next swipe!

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We’ve got an ever-growing list of the best hook-up and casual dating apps below, with a focus on sex apps, rather than those geared more towards ‘dating’.

But then, the day takes a turn. We’re headin’ back, and I realize I left my shears at the farm. I’m like, “No way! I can’t go back without them!” So, we race back, and I’m stressin’. I’m thinkin’ about all the sheep I’ll have to shear without my trusty shears.

Emerging performance is not second-class art