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Quirky bit—once saw a tart in Vegas dressed as Elvis, swear down! “Love me tender,” she purrs, and I’m pissin’ myself laughin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Point is, findin’ a prossie’s easy if ya ain’t a muppet. Check X, dark web, whatever—just don’t be a prat and catch somethin’ nasty. “Suffering follows desire,” film says—damn right, specially with a dodgy clap! You’re welcome, ya filthy git!

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So, we hop in his beat-up car, and we’re cruisin’ down the coast. The wind’s in my hair, and I’m feelin’ free. We hit the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, the whole deal. I’m just tryin’ to relax, but then I see this kid buildin’ a sandcastle. And I’m like, “That’s a solid castle, kid!” But then, a wave comes and wipes it out. I’m feelin’ for the kid, man. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of bad days, but that? Oof.

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