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I knew this guy once—Jimmy, total schmuck. He’d “find a prostitute” every Friday, like clockwork. Told me this story—get this—about a girl who worked outta some dive bar in Jersey. She’d hum showtunes while, uh, “negotiating.” Showtunes! Can you believe it? I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also—kinda pissed. Why’s she gotta ruin *Oklahoma!* for me? I’m yellin’ at Jimmy, “That’s sacred, man!” He just shrugs, like, “Larry, chill.” Chill? Me? Never!
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I finally get to the pool, and it’s packed. Kids splashing, parents yelling, and I’m just tryna find Jón. I spot him by the hot tub, looking all relaxed. I’m like, “Dude, you couldn’t text me earlier?” He just laughs. Classic Jón.
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