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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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After that chaos, we decide to hit up the beach. Yeah, Rishon has a beach! It’s not Tel Aviv, but it’s got its charm. We grab some snacks from a vendor on the promenade. I get a falafel, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. Like, how do they make it so good? I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks with a frisbee. Spoiler alert: he fails miserably. The frisbee hits a seagull, and the bird goes nuts! I’m dying laughing.