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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer on HaYarden Street. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This guy’s either a genius or a total idiot.” But he’s got a crowd, and they’re loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and suddenly, I forget about my coffee-stained shirt.

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