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About Jerusalem

I roll up, see this chick—red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re too late for redemption,” straight outta Haneke’s script. I’m hyped, tho—heart’s pumpin’ like I’m in the ring. I saunter over, all smooth, sayin’, “Hey, baby, I must break you.” She smirks, tosses the cig, goes, “Fifty bucks, champ.” I’m like, damn, inflation’s real! Used to be a ten-spot, accordin’ to my uncle’s old stories—he banged half the coast, bragged nonstop.

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I’m back in business. I grab my tools, and I’m all pumped up. But then, my buddy Yossi strolls in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” Turns out, he just got back from a trip to the Carmel Market. He’s got fresh spices, and I’m drooling. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta share!” But he’s all, “Nah, man, these are for my special stew.” Ugh, the betrayal!

Coins left under a building 1,650 years ago are evidence of the last Jewish revolt