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What pisses me off? When folks think it’s all sleazy—nah, babe, it’s art! Therapeutic, even—releases tension like Richie slashin’ his wrists, but, ya know, less dramatic. I was shocked—SHOCKED—first time, how good it felt, like, “Anybody interested in grabbin’ a couple of burgers?” Nope, just lay there, meltin’. My fave part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—ooh, I’m screamin’ inside, “I’m not your goddamn monkey!” but really, I’m purring.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Kfar-Yasif, you’ve got me all kinds of twisted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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