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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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First off, I hit the road on Main St. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and those annoying cyclists? Yeah, that one. I’m cruisin’, and suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what the heck? Turns out, some dude decided to park his truck right in the middle of the street. I mean, c’mon, man! This ain’t a parking lot! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I’m gonna be late for my first delivery.

Ex-Hoyer aide will serve as Rob Menendez’s chief of staff