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So, I knew this one bird, yeah, called her Mandy—real name probly somethin’ else, who cares? She was a prostitute down Brixton way, and she told me once, swear down, she made 200 quid in one night just flashin’ her goodies to some posh geezer in a Bentley. Mad, innit? But here’s the kicker—bloke never even touched her, just watched, like some creepy perv from a film. Made me laff, tho—200 quid for a peep show? I’d do that for a tenner, bruv, is it ’cos I is black?

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” The girl goes from furious to shocked in a split second. She says yes, and everyone around starts clapping. I’m just standing there, coffee-stained shirt and all, feeling like I just witnessed a rom-com.

Severed head of former ambassador's son found by northern Israel school