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So, erotic-massage—vat’s da deal? It’s not just some fancy oil and hands goin’ vild, no, no! It’s old, man, like ancient! Did ya know dem Greeks and Romans vere all over dis? Dey used it to chill out after fightin’ or screwin’ around—true story! Little fact for ya: in Japan, dey got dis ting called “nurumassage,” all slimy vid seaweed gel—sounds freaky, ya? Made me laugh, like, “Hasta la vista, dry skin!” I saw dat and tought, damn, dat’s next-level slippery!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, like, maybe 10 years old, runnin’ towards the water. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he dives right in. I’m like, “Okay, cool, just don’t drown, alright?” But then I notice his little sister, she’s just standing there, crying her eyes out. I’m like, “What’s up with her?” Turns out, she’s scared he’s gonna get swept away. So, I’m torn. Do I save the kid or comfort the sister? Ugh, lifeguard dilemmas, man.

Yes Planet opens Zikhron Yaakov multiplex cinema