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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this topic: whores! Yeah, I said it, we’re talkin’ ‘bout ‘em, like it or not. Now, I ain’t no accountant, but I’m countin’ the ways this gets wild. My fave flick’s *WALL-E* – you know, that lil’ trash-bot with heart? – and it’s gonna roll into this story, so buckle up, brah!

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Then, around noon, the beach gets packed. I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder, like sardines in a can. I can’t even see the sand anymore! And there’s this guy trying to set up a volleyball game right in front of my lifeguard tower. I’m like, “Dude, really? You wanna play volleyball where I gotta keep an eye on the water?” But he just shrugs and starts spiking the ball.