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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ around, me and you, shootin’ the breeze like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, that gem by Wes Anderson—best damn movie ever, 2012, pure heart! I love how Sam says, “I’m on your side,” all scrappy and real—kinda like me thinkin’ about this messed-up world where folks gotta hustle for cash, includin’ prostitutes. Ain’t that a kick in the teeth?

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I finally made it to my meeting, but guess what? The guy I was supposed to meet? Total no-show. I sat there for like 30 minutes, staring at my phone, thinking, “Is this a joke?” I mean, come on, dude! I could’ve been munching on some shakshuka instead. So, I left, feeling all kinds of annoyed.

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