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About Haifa

Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!

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But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playing the violin. And let me tell you, he was good. I mean, I’m not a classical music fan, but this guy was killing it. I stood there, totally vibing, when suddenly, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, dude!” Everyone around me started laughing. I was mortified but also kinda amused. Only in Tel Aviv, right?

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