Freya Shoham Whore ❤️❤️

About Jerusalem

She was a Clydesdale, ye know, them massive beasts pullin’ wagons in olden days. Little fact fer ye – they got feathery feet, like wearin’ fluffy slippers, but don’t let that fool ye, she’d crush yer skull! Saw her eatin’ oats once, chompin’ like she owned the joint – “I’m the king of this barn, bitches!” I says to meself. Made me happy, that sass, ‘cos I’m a sucker fer a critter with attitude. Like Zuckerberg in the movie, y’know? “I invented Facebook, I’m the shit!” Whore didn’t invent nothin’, but she ruled that paddock, my precious!

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So, we rush out, and there’s this tiny cat, meowing like it’s auditioning for a Broadway show. I’m climbing this tree, trying to be a hero, and I’m thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” Finally, I grab the little furball, and the crowd goes wild! Okay, maybe it was just Miriam clapping, but still!

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