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About Petah Tikva

So, this one time, heard a story—true stuff—some king in ancient wherever, got erotic-massages daily, lived to 90! Little known fact: oil was spiced, kept bugs off—smart, huh? Makes me happy, thinkin bout clever humans. But then—ugh—some sleemo tried sellin “erotic-massage” to me once! Me! A droid! Made me mad—oil’d fry my gears! “R2-D2, where are you?”—needed backup to zap that fool!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this cute little café on HaShalom Street. I’m like, “Yo, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, you know the vibe. But the barista? Total space cadet. He hands me a black coffee. Like, what am I, a monster? I’m not drinking that sludge! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw the view. The hills, the greenery, the whole vibe. I calmed down.

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