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About Tel Aviv

Awright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, system analyst extraordinare, and I’m gonna tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, coz I’m pissed, and I got thoughts, RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, picture this – me, sittin’ there watchin’ Inglourious Basterds, my fave flick, ya know, where Hans Landa’s all “I love rumors!” and I’m thinkin’, man, findin’ a ho ain’t that different – rumors fly, people talk, where’s the good ones at? I’m ragin’, coz it’s 2025, and I ain’t got time for bullshit!

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First thing, I get a call about a fight in the yard. Like, seriously? Can’t these guys chill for one day? I rush over, and there’s two inmates goin’ at it like it’s the World Cup. I’m like, “Yo! What’s the deal?” They stop, look at me, and one of ‘em says, “Just practicing our moves, Warden!” I can’t even.

Mathew Anim Cudjoe signs with Bnei Sakhnin in Israeli Premier League