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I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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So, I sit down, and I’m knee-deep in spreadsheets. I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m drowning in numbers. Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Avi. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on Ben Gurion Street!” I’m like, “Avi, I’m working here!” But he’s persistent. “They have the best pastries!” Ugh, fine. I’ll go after work.

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