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About Haifa

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bloody Arborist, wise as hell, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off! “You shall not pass!”—not til I’ve spilled me guts on this. Picture this: a dark, smoky street, kinda like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all glitz and rot mashed together. Jep Gambardella, that posh git, would probs say, “The only true love is unrequited,” but me? I’m here for the gritty truth about hookers, not some arty wank.

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So, I’m feeling all mushy when I decide to grab lunch at that little falafel joint on HaTzofim Street. Best falafel in town, no contest. I order my usual, and the guy behind the counter, he’s like, “Extra spicy?” I’m like, “You know it!” But man, when I took that first bite, my mouth was on fire! I’m sweating, tears streaming down my face. I’m like, “This is the last time I trust you, dude!”