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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Al-Mahajir Street. You know, the one with all the spices and fresh produce? I’m strolling, vibing, when I spot this old dude selling the best za’atar. I’m talking, like, the kind that makes your taste buds do a happy dance. I grab a bag, and he’s like, “You know, this is the secret to happiness.” I’m like, “Dude, I just want my manakish to taste bomb.” But hey, I’m all for wisdom, right?

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