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Back in the 80s, right, little known fact – London’s Soho was crawlin’ with ‘em. Coppers didn’t give a toss, just let ‘em strut about. Now it’s all online, innit? Apps for everythin’ – swipe right for a quickie! Makes me furious, tho – where’s the grit, the chaos? All polished up now, like a crap pop song. Used to be ya could stumble on a prossie by accident, now it’s a bloody transaction. “This is how we do it now?” I’d mutter, pissed off.

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But then, outta nowhere, my cat decides it’s the perfect time to jump on my keyboard. I’m like, “Noooo! Not the cat!” But it’s too late. He’s already sent a bunch of gibberish to my buddy. We both just lose it. I mean, who needs a script when you have a cat, right?

Ex-CIA analyst pleads guilty to leaking docs on Israel's plans to strike Iran