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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the Eilabun River. It’s super chill there. Kids playin’, couples smoochin’, and me just tryin’ to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts flyin’ a drone. I’m like, “Cool, man, but keep it away from my head!” I mean, I don’t need a drone crashin’ my vibe, ya know?

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