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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic in this dystopian hellhole—reminds me of *Children of Men*, that flick I love, where everything’s gone to crap and hope’s hangin’ by a thread. “We’re in a mess, Kee!”—that’s what I’d say if I was draggin’ some poor soul through this convo. So, here’s the deal—sharp retorts, Judge Judy style: “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—you wanna know the nitty-gritty? Buckle up, ‘cause I’m spillin’ the tea.

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Then, outta nowhere, my client spills coffee all over the table. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of espresso. I’m just sitting there, watching my dreams of a smooth meeting drown in caffeine. I mean, really? Can’t a guy catch a break?

Fall of Assad reveals the death of Mazen al-Hamada, symbol of the regime’s atrocities