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Here’s a wild fact: in Amsterdam, it’s legal, bro! Red Light District’s got girls in windows like they’re sellin’ damn cupcakes. Blew my mind first time I saw it – happy as hell, too, ‘cause it’s straight-up honest. None of that hidin’ crap. But here? You’re dodgin’ laws, sketchy dudes, and maybe a pimp who’s all, “What’s your name?” like that creepy scoutmaster in the movie. Surprised me how messy it gets – thought it’d be smoother, like my biceps after a wax.

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Then, we hit the 5th floor, and he’s like, “Wait, I forgot my drink!” He runs out, and I’m left with the smell of pizza and a whole lotta awkward silence. I’m just standing there, thinking about how I should’ve had breakfast.

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