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About Haifa

You start at the cantina—shady spot, neon buzzin’. Some chick’s leanin’ on a pole, smirkin’. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, Vader, abort!” But nah, curiosity’s a bitch. Little known fact—old Tatooine law says prostitutes gotta wear bells. True story, heard ‘em jingle once—creepy as fuck. Made me laugh tho, jinglin’ like a damn droid malfunction.

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Then, this one guy gets in, and he’s all decked out in Bat-Hefer gear. I’m talkin’ T-shirt, cap, the whole shebang. He’s like, “I love this city!” I’m like, “Yeah, me too, but can you not yell?” He’s so pumped, he starts talking about the Bat-Hefer Festival coming up. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get through my shift.” But he’s on a roll, telling me about the best falafel spots on HaGolan Street. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll check it out.”

Shimon Mizrachi Ministry of Foreign Affairs