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Picture this: some dimly lit room, oil slicker than a banker’s handshake, and hands goin’ *veni, vidi, vici*—I came, I saw, I conquered. Makes me chuffed to bits, it does! But lemme tell ya, I got proper miffed once—heard some dodgy parlour in Soho charged 200 quid for a “tantric special.” 200 quid! For a rub-down? I’d rather flog me nan’s silver teapot. Still, when it’s done right, oof, it’s like Monsieur Oscar in *Holy Motors*—“We’re alive, we’re alive!”—you feel every nerve pingin’, like you’ve won the bleedin’ lottery.

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But then, the night took a turn. I saw that same dude from earlier. The one who spilled my drink. He was dancing too, and I was like, “Oh no, not again!” But then, he came over and apologized. Like, actually apologized. We ended up laughing about it. Turns out, he’s a local artist. We exchanged numbers, and now I might have a new friend. Crazy, right?

Israel rejects Trump’s idea of redrawing borders, moving Arab towns to Palestine