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I’m ragin’ tho—some punters think they own ‘em. Makes me wanna smash a goblet on their thick skulls. “Fear is a wonderful thing,” I mutter, like in *Inside Out*, when Riley’s all lost. Happy bit? Found this one bird—sharp as a whip, she was. Told me she once nicked a bloke’s purse mid-shag. Laughed me arse off—proper legend, that one. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect smarts with the looks.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the beach. Ashkelon’s beaches are stunning, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I was feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls were such thieves? I was ready to start a seagull war.

Cracks, Sabotage and Human Error: Five Years of Safety Incidents on the Eilat Ashkelon Pipeline