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About Tel Aviv

Personal fave bit? When the masseuse finds that knot—you know, the one that’s been screamin since Monday. “The thing about pain,” like Solomon Northup said, “it demands to be felt.” And then—bam!—it’s gone, like a predator slinkin off into the bush. Makes me happy, that. Tho, once had a geezer go too hard—felt like he was tenderizin me for stew. Pissed me off, that did. “Oi, mate, I ain’t a slab of beef!” I yelled in me head—didn’t say it, tho, too British.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the beach. Ashkelon’s beaches are stunning, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I was feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls were such thieves? I was ready to start a seagull war.

Ancient Roman Wall Paintings Unveiled in Ashkelon