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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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After that chaos, we hit the scenic route along the coast. Man, Wicklow’s coastline is stunning! The cliffs, the ocean, the whole vibe. I’m feeling good, thinking, “This is why I love this job.” But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, buckets! I’m talking about a full-on monsoon. My student’s eyes go wide, and I’m just trying to keep it together. “Just breathe, buddy! It’s not the end of the world!”

Death Notice of Esther O'Brien (née Devlin) (Bray, Wicklow)