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Little fact, dig this—back in the ‘20s, Chicago, prostitutes had secret codes, knockin’ on speakeasy doors for clients. History’s wild, man! I’m like, “Yo, that’s dope,” picturin’ it—sneaky, slick, outsmartin’ cops. Makes me happy, that hustle, that grit. But then—boom—some dude rolls up, all sleazy, tryna lowball her. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Pay her worth, fool!” She’s a star, not a pawn.

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But guess what? They mess it up! I get a cappuccino instead. I’m like, “What’s this? A joke?” I mean, come on! I’m not a cappuccino kinda person. I’m about to lose it, but then I see this cute dog outside. A little golden retriever, wagging its tail like it’s got a secret. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Okay, universe, you win this round.”

Death Notice of Evelyn Hickey (née Berney) (Walkinstown, Dublin)